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(USGovernment-News.Com, March 19, 2015 ) Queensland, Australia -- Donna Ferguson describes herself as "a bit of a rebel back in the day". As a teenager and young woman, she loved feeling like a salmon swimming upstream, breaking social norms, bucking trends and enjoying the noise and craziness of a healthy social life.
Donna met and married a young man in her early 20's, whom she thought had the same zest for life and yearning to step outside the box and appreciate the world from a different point of view as she did. They hadn't been dating long before they wed, but she felt an instant connection with him, a real sense of belonging that she wanted to experience for the rest of her life.
They were only married a short time before her life turned in to a horrifying nightmare. The man she thought was her Prince Charming turned in to a mentally, emotionally and physically abusive monster. www.rainbowsempoweringwomen.com
"He was very violent, and he didn't need a reason to turn. Sometimes he'd go on a drinking binge for three days, only to come home and beat me because he was convinced I'd had an affair while he was gone," says Donna. "I have a scar above my eye that he opened up twice while beating me until I was black and blue."
Donna displayed all the typical abusive signs of an unhealthy relationship. She was withdrawn, and had no self-confidence, self-respect or self-esteem. She became completely introverted, shy and barely left the house, and she severed many relationships with friends and family. She lost her ability to make decisions, believing her husband would be angry with her for taking control. She was alone living in perpetual terror, never knowing what the next trigger would be.
"I feared for my life. It was a very real fear, and that's the power they hold over you. As soon as you break that power, they have nothing."
The day Donna broke the cycle of abuse was the day she had a job interview. Her opportunity for independence made her husband nervous, and he spent the whole drive to the interview arguing with her. She knew that once they got home, he was going to beat her again.
At the conclusion of the interview, Donna realised she had two choices - to get in the car with her husband and go back home to what would be a violent outburst, or walk away.
Donna remembers, "I felt shit scared. I caught a taxi to my mum's house. While staying with my mum, he rang me from a phone box around the corner and threatened to kill himself. Instead of running back to him, I said, 'I'll call you an ambulance'. That's when I realised he had no control over me anymore and I was finally feeling empowered."
Back then, there were no support groups for Donna to lean on as she transitioned in to her new life. While she had her family, she found they didn't understand the situation entirely because they hadn't lived through it, and she began to feel like a burden.
Currently, the existing services for women with personal domestic violence stories offer help through the immediate aftermath of leaving an abusive relationship (women shelters, Centrelink payments, and accommodation and support services), yet there is little support for after the crisis period has ended (trauma healing, abuse run-off effects and rebuilding lives).
Rainbows Empowering Women is an organisation that aims to take women on a journey to feeling empowered and free from domestic abuse. After feeling lost and "going completely off the rails" when her marriage ended, Donna says she would have flourished had she been surrounded with the right support and guidance. www.rainbowsempoweringwomen.com
"The fear I had grown from that relationship took a long time to overcome," says Donna. "It took 12 months before I felt comfortable leaving the house on my own. I attracted so much negativity because I was depressed and had no self-esteem. I yearned for the things I had lost, instead of being grateful for the things that I had, and I had no idea how to move forward with my life.
"But you get to a point where you really do get tired of living in fear and not sleeping, and you have to decide what's going to be best in your life. The only way you can live the life you deserve is by empowering yourself so you can empower others."
About Rainbows Empowering Women: Rainbows Empowering Women empowers women to become emotionally and financially free, to have the confidence to live the life they deserve. They aim to give women the confidence to achieve their goals, so they can do whatever they want in life and fulfil their dreams.
Rainbows Empowering Women offers a 7 step program to women that helps them to strip back the layers of negative experiences as an adult and a child to remove the blockages to success and self-worth. The program includes learning how to become emotionally free and in control, build self-confidence and self-respect, unlock dreams and goals and become successful in life.
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